Ten things that husbands and wives should do to avoid a divorce


Foto : Ilustration (Internet) Foto : Ilustration (Internet) - In Indonesia, we can found divorce is so common nowadays. But everyone wants to have a happy marriage.

And this is a list of advice from psychologists and people’s personal experiences on how to avoid mistakes and save your marriage.

10. Respect each other.
Mutual respect is a pillar of a happy marriage. Even when you’re angry, express yourself through the prism of respect. Respect allows you to avoid situations where one of the partners feels that the other half is manipulating and putting pressure on them.

9. Do not compare your partner to others
Don’t compare your partner with other people’s husbands and wives, especially someone on social network sites like Instagram or Facebook. This goes for in your thoughts and out loud.

Remember that people often choose to show not their reality but their desired picture of life and relationships in social media. So when other husbands give their ladies with bouquets, take them to expensive restaurants, or buy expensive gifts, it’s mean that those couples are happy.

8. Take care of yourself.
Always take care of yourself. A happy marriage is all about good sex. People love to see what is attractive. Stay fit and healthy. Think about the way you look when you’re in front of your partner, even at home.

7. Husband is priority number one, then kids.
Being good parent is all about being selflessly but give all for your children, but it will be a mistake if you sacrifice your marriage for it.

6. Forgive each other
No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. Any relationship brings misunderstandings and hurt between partners. If a couple cannot forgive one another, then over time, the relationship will collapse under the burden of accumulated grievances.

5. Do not try to change your partner
People are mistaken to think that one can change her or his spouse. Everyone has their drawbacks, and it’s almost impossible to make them into the person you want them to be.
Things you should never ever try to change are bad habits, religious views, relationships with parents, hobbies, the way they see this world, and what they make their priorities. But a good thing to do is create mutual family habits and traditions that everyone will find pleasing.

4. Avoid big words, especially divorce.
Try to avoid phrases like :
“If this continues, I will leave you.“

Never say the word divorce. If you are going to say it, then be ready to go and see a lawyer.
Your partner might suddenly say, ”Fine. Leave."

3. Control your emotions
Try to tell yourself "Stop!" whenever you want to insult your loved one. If you feel that you can’t control yourself, take a break, take a deep breath, and go for a walk. Just do not use it to punish your partner with isolation. Tell them that you will return to the conversation when you have calmed down.

2. Never talk badly about your partner.
Never say bad things about your partner to others. Not to your mother. Not even to your friends. After your quarrel, you will forget everything and forgive each other, but your mother and girlfriends will not. That is when your partner will remain in a negative light for them, and they will treat him or her badly.
When things are really difficult, first have a heart-to-heart talk with your spouse. If you really must share with someone else, contact a family psychologist.

1. Learn your partner’s love language.
Everyone speaks their own language of love. Yours may differ from the love language of your partner.
To speak love, he may manifest it with words of support and praise, perhaps with touch and care, or even with material things like gifts.

Each of us has a language of love. Whatever your partner’s love language is, learn it and use it.


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